Rejected and unmotivated is

Rejected and unmotivated is what I have become.

 

 

Why am I here?

I don't wish to be at a classroom where our teachers motivation is his/her paycheck. 

 

They're faces melt and they look sour. Wasting away as the clock ticks within every hour. I can see it, they wish to be else where and they dread to be here.

 

Their goal is to waste as little breathe as possible, making us watch a video

As I look around, no one is really watching , and neither am I. I'm caught daydreaming. Daydreaming has become my escape to the discomfort of this classroom. How can I be taught with just discussing the contents of this video? 

The more I spend time here, the useless I feel.

Next period, new information,  My brain is racing , trying to inhale it all. But when I'm asked in front of the class to answer the question to #1, my mind has drawn a blank and a question mark is formed on my forehead.

 

The reason to my slowness? I'm still on last weeks lesson. I was not made for fast learning and I'm embarrassed at the thought. If they could only slow down the speed. Let me breath, let me take it in in small bites.

 

I'm not known to be the star in my teachers eyes. Favoritism rules this classroom. Their eyes shine and widen with amusement at the sight if their bright pupil. Their eyes become dull at the sight of me and there's no fire in their eyes. Instead I'm compared to the star pupil. What a shame. I'm small next to them, I'm nobody.

  They don't see what's deeper than the surface I'm more than what they see. A person with feelings and abilities. No, in my teachers eyes ill never shine as bright as her favorites. 

So why am I here? My motivation slowly dissipated. It's no longer there. Something inside me tells me to hold on, cause this will soon be over and I will move on.

 

Lusandy Santos